Who vs. whom is one of the most confusing topics in English grammar, but it doesn’t have to be difficult. The simple rule is this: who is used as the subject of a sentence, while whom is used as the object of a verb or preposition. If you’ve ever stopped while writing an email, essay, or social media post because you weren’t sure which word to use, this guide will help you make the right choice with confidence.

Instead of memorizing complicated grammar rules, you’ll learn practical ways to identify the correct word. This guide explains the difference between who and whom, the subject vs. object rule, the he/him test, and common situations where many writers make mistakes. You’ll also find easy examples, comparison tables, grammar tips, quizzes, and real-life usage in both formal and everyday American English.

Whether you’re a student, blogger, professional, or English learner, you’ll discover when to use who, when to use whom, and when modern English naturally prefers who. By the end, you’ll understand the grammar rule clearly and write with greater confidence.

Who vs. Whom: Quick Answer

The difference between who and whom comes down to their grammatical role.

Who is the subject of a sentence.
Whom is the object of a verb or a preposition.

Examples

✅ Who called you yesterday?

(“Who” performs the action of calling.)

✅ Whom did you invite to the meeting?

(“Whom” receives the action of inviting.)

The easiest memory trick

Replace the word with he or him.

If he sounds correct, use who.
If him sounds correct, use whom.

Example:

You invited him.

Therefore:

Whom did you invite?

Who vs. Whom at a Glance

Feature	Who	Whom
Grammar role	Subject	Object
Replaces	He, She, They	Him, Her, Them
Used after prepositions	Rarely	Yes
Common in conversation	Very common	Less common
Common in formal writing	Yes	Frequently
Example	Who is coming?	Whom did you meet?

What Is “Who”?

Who is a pronoun that refers to people. It functions as the subject of a sentence or clause. In other words, who performs the action.

Think of who the same way you think of he, she, or they.

Use who when someone is doing something.

Examples

Who opened the window?
Who wants pizza?
Who lives next door?
Who sent this email?
Who forgot the keys?

In each sentence, the person represented by who performs the action.

Who as the Subject of a Question

Many questions begin with who because you’re asking about the person performing the action.

Examples

Who wrote this report?
Who fixed your computer?
Who won the competition?
Who called this morning?
Who parked outside?

Notice that every answer becomes the subject.

Question:

Who called?

Answer:

Sarah called.

Sarah performs the action.

Who in Relative Clauses

A relative clause gives extra information about a noun.

Examples

The teacher who helped me was very kind.
I know someone who can repair your laptop.
She’s the person who organized the event.

In every example, who introduces a clause where it acts as the subject.

Common Sentence Patterns with Who

You’ll often see who used after:

The person
Someone
Anybody
Everyone
The employee
The student

Examples

Anyone who arrives early can choose a seat.
The student who answered correctly received a prize.
I need someone who understands coding.

What Is “Whom”?

Whom is also a pronoun that refers to people. However, unlike who, it functions as the object of a sentence.

Instead of doing the action, whom receives the action.

Think of whom the same way you think of him, her, or them.

Use Whom as the Object of a Verb

Examples

Whom did you call?
Whom should we invite?
Whom did the manager choose?
Whom are you helping?

In every example, someone receives the action.

Use Whom After a Preposition

This is where whom most often appears in formal English.

Examples

To whom should I address the letter?
With whom are you traveling?
For whom was this gift intended?
About whom were they talking?

Although many Americans say:

Who are you traveling with?

The formal version is:

With whom are you traveling?

Both are widely understood, but the second is more formal.

Why Do People Avoid “Whom”?

Modern American English has become more conversational.

As a result:

Who is replacing whom in casual speech.
Most native speakers rarely use whom while talking.
However, editors, teachers, lawyers, journalists, and academics still use whom when grammar requires it.

Examples

Casual

Who did you see?

Formal

Whom did you see?

Both are common today, but the second is grammatically traditional.

The Main Difference Between Who and Whom

The easiest way to remember the difference is to think about subjects and objects.

Who	Whom
Performs the action	Receives the action
Subject	Object
Like he	Like him

Compare these examples

Who called you?

The caller performs the action.

Whom did you call?

The person receives the action.

Another example

Who baked the cake?

Emily baked the cake.

Emily performs the action.

Now compare

Whom did Emily invite?

The guest receives the invitation.

A Simple Visual Comparison

Correct

Who wrote the article?
Whom did the editor hire?

Correct

Who is speaking?
Whom are they interviewing?

Notice how who performs the action while whom receives it.

The Easiest Trick to Know Whether to Use Who or Whom

Replace it.

I should send the package to him.

“Him” fits.

Answer

✅ To whom should I send the package?

How to Use “Who” Correctly

Using who becomes much easier once you identify the subject of the sentence.

As the Subject of a Sentence

Examples

Who forgot the password?
Who cleaned the kitchen?
Who owns this car?
Who solved the problem?

The person performs the action.

As the Subject of a Question

Questions naturally begin with who when you’re asking about the person doing something.

Examples

Who answered the phone?
Who won the election?
Who prepared dinner?
Who signed the contract?

As a Relative Pronoun

Who connects additional information to a noun.

Examples

The doctor who treated me was excellent.
The neighbor who helped us moved away.
The employee who solved the issue received a bonus.
She’s the artist who painted this mural.

Real-Life American English Examples

At school

Who finished the assignment first?
Who forgot their homework?

At work

Who approved the budget?
Who scheduled today’s meeting?

At home

Who left the lights on?
Who made coffee this morning?

Text message

Who’s coming tonight?
Who wants to order pizza?

These examples show how naturally who appears in everyday American English.

Quick Tips for Using Who

Use who for the person doing the action.
Think of he, she, or they.
Don’t overthink casual conversations.
When in doubt, use the he/him test before writing.

How to Use “Whom” Correctly

Although whom is less common in everyday speech, it is still the grammatically correct choice when it functions as the object of a verb or a preposition. You’ll see it most often in formal writing, academic papers, legal documents, business communication, and edited publications.

A simple way to decide is to ask yourself:

Is this person receiving the action instead of doing it?

If the answer is yes, whom may be the correct choice.

As the Object of a Verb

Use whom when the person receives the action of the verb.

Examples

✅ Whom did you call yesterday?

(You called him.)

✅ Whom did the committee select?

(The committee selected her.)

✅ Whom are they interviewing today?

(They are interviewing him.)

✅ Whom should we notify first?

(We should notify them.)

In each sentence, the person isn’t performing the action—they’re receiving it.

As the Object of a Preposition

This is where whom is most commonly used in formal English.

Examples

To whom should I send the email?
With whom are you traveling?
From whom did you borrow the book?
For whom was this gift purchased?
About whom were they talking?

These sentences may sound formal in conversation, but they’re grammatically correct.

In Indirect Questions

Sometimes whom appears in indirect questions rather than direct ones.

Examples

I don’t know whom she invited.
Please tell me whom you contacted.
We haven’t decided whom to hire.
They asked whom we recommended.

Because the pronoun receives the action, whom is correct.

In Relative Clauses

When the pronoun acts as the object inside a relative clause, use whom in formal writing.

Examples

The professor whom I admired retired last year.
The customer whom we assisted was satisfied.
She’s the author whom everyone praised.

However, in everyday American English, many people simply use who.

Formal

The professor whom I admired.

Casual

The professor who I admired.

Both are widely understood today.

Who vs. Whom After Prepositions

Many learners remember whom because it frequently follows a preposition in formal English.

Common Preposition + Whom Combinations

To whom
With whom
For whom
From whom
About whom
By whom
Of whom
Among whom

Examples

To whom

To whom should I address this letter?

With whom

With whom are you staying during your trip?

For whom

For whom is this reservation?

From whom

From whom did you receive the package?

About whom

About whom were they speaking?

By whom

By whom was the decision made?

Formal vs. Conversational English

In spoken American English, people often move the preposition to the end.

Formal	Everyday Conversation
With whom are you working?	Who are you working with?
To whom should I write?	Who should I write to?
From whom did you hear this?	Who did you hear this from?
About whom were they talking?	Who were they talking about?

Both versions are common. The conversational version sounds more natural in everyday speech.

Who vs. Whom in Questions

Questions are where many writers hesitate. Fortunately, the same subject-object rule still applies.

Direct Questions

Ask yourself:

Who is performing the action?

If the answer is yes, use who.

Examples

Who called?
Who wrote this email?
Who won the game?
Who left early?

Now ask:

Who is receiving the action?

If yes, use whom.

Examples

Whom did you invite?
Whom should we contact?
Whom are they interviewing?
Whom did the teacher praise?

Questions That Look Tricky

Some questions confuse people because the pronoun appears at the beginning of the sentence.

Consider this example:

Who should receive the award?

Many learners think the answer is whom because someone receives the award.

However, who is correct because who is the subject of the verb should receive.

A quick test helps:

“He should receive the award.”

Not:

“Him should receive the award.”

Who vs. Whom in Relative Clauses

A relative clause adds information about a person.

The pronoun may be the subject or the object inside that clause.

Subject Relative Clauses

Use who.

Examples

The woman who lives next door is a doctor.
I met a student who speaks Japanese.
He’s the mechanic who repaired my truck.

The pronoun performs the action.

Object Relative Clauses

Use whom in formal writing.

Examples

The student whom I tutored passed the exam.
The customer whom we served left a positive review.
The employee whom the manager promoted celebrated today.

Modern American English often replaces whom with who here.

Who vs. Whom in American English

Language changes over time, and whom has become much less common than it once was.

Today, many Americans use who almost everywhere except in formal writing.

Everyday Conversation

Most native speakers say:

Who did you call?
Who are you talking to?
Who did you meet?

Very few people naturally say:

Whom did you call?

Even though it’s grammatically correct.

Business Writing

Professional emails often use who, unless the sentence is especially formal.

Natural example:

Who should I contact regarding my application?

More formal:

Whom should I contact regarding my application?

Both are acceptable.

Academic Writing

Teachers, editors, universities, and academic publishers still expect writers to understand when whom is appropriate.

You’ll often see sentences like:

Students whom the committee selected…
Applicants to whom the scholarship applies…

Legal and Official Documents

Legal writing still prefers whom after prepositions.

Examples include:

The individual to whom this notice applies…
The person for whom the property was purchased…

Who vs. Whom in British English

British English follows the same grammar rule.

However, modern British speakers also use who much more frequently than whom in conversation.

American vs. British Usage

American English	British English
Who is very common	Who is very common
Whom mostly appears in formal writing	Similar usage
Casual speech favors who	Casual speech also favors who

The grammar hasn’t changed.

The style has become more conversational.

Formal vs. Informal Usage

Choosing between who and whom often depends on your audience.

Situation	Better Choice
Text messages	Who
Social media	Who
Friends and family	Who
Business emails	Usually who
Academic papers	Who or whom, depending on grammar
Legal writing	Whom when required
Professional reports	Follow grammar rules

Everyday Conversation

Natural:

Who did you invite?

Perfectly acceptable.

Formal Speech

More traditional:

Whom did you invite?

Also correct.

Common Mistakes with Who and Whom

Understanding common errors helps you avoid them.

Mistake 1: Using “Whom” as the Subject

❌ Whom is coming tonight?

✅ Who is coming tonight?

The person performs the action.

Mistake 2: Using “Who” as the Object in Formal Writing

❌ To who should I send this?

✅ To whom should I send this?

The pronoun follows a preposition.

Mistake 3: Hypercorrection

Some writers use whom simply because they think it sounds smarter.

❌ Whom wants coffee?

Correct:

✅ Who wants coffee?

Always follow the grammar rule—not the desire to sound formal.

Mistake 4: Ignoring Modern Usage

Although whom is correct in many situations, forcing it into casual conversation can sound unnatural.

For example:

Formal:

Whom are you waiting for?

Natural conversation:

Who are you waiting for?

Both are understood.

Who vs. Whom Examples (Correct and Incorrect)

Incorrect	Correct	Why
Whom is calling?	Who is calling?	Subject performs the action.
Who did you invite? (Formal grammar)	Whom did you invite?	Pronoun receives the action.
To who should I complain?	To whom should I complain?	Object of a preposition.
Whom finished first?	Who finished first?	Subject of the sentence.
The person who I hired (formal)	The person whom I hired	Object of “hired.”
Who are you speaking with?	Correct in modern English	Common conversational usage.

Real-Life Examples

At school

Who answered the question?
Whom did the teacher congratulate?

At work

Who approved the proposal?
Whom should we notify first?

Email

Who can help me with this issue?
To whom it may concern…

Social Media

Who watched the game last night?
Who did you tag in the photo?

These examples reflect how who dominates everyday American English, while whom remains useful in more formal situations.

Who vs. Whom Cheat Sheet

Need a quick refresher? Keep this simple guide in mind whenever you’re unsure.

If the word is…	Use	Example
The subject of the sentence	Who	Who called you?
The object of a verb	Whom	Whom did you call?
The object of a preposition	Whom	To whom should I send this?
Used in everyday conversation	Who	Who are you talking to?
Used in formal writing	Whom (when grammatically correct)	The candidate whom we selected…

Remember These Rules

Who = He, She, They
Whom = Him, Her, Them
Who performs the action.
Whom receives the action.
After a preposition, whom is usually correct in formal English.
In casual American English, who often replaces whom without causing confusion.

Memory Tricks to Remember Who vs. Whom

Learning grammar is easier when you have simple memory tricks. These techniques can help you choose the correct word in seconds.

Use the He/Him Test

This is the easiest and most reliable method.

If he fits, use who.
If him fits, use whom.

Example

Who/Whom wrote the report?

Replace it:

He wrote the report. ✔

Correct answer:

Who wrote the report?

Match the Last Letter

Another easy trick is to notice the last letter.

Who ends with o.
He also ends with e, and both are subjects.
Whom ends with m.
Him also ends with m, and both are objects.

This isn’t a grammar rule, but it helps many learners remember the difference.

Think About the Action

Ask yourself one question:

Who is doing the action?

If the answer is the pronoun, use who.

Question	Correct Answer	Explanation
1	Who	The pronoun is the subject of “is knocking.”
2	Whom	It follows the preposition to.
3	Who	The pronoun performs the action of winning.
4	Whom	The manager promoted him, making it the object.
5	Who	The employee solved the problem.
6	Whom	The customer received the action of assisting.
7	Whom	It follows the preposition with.
8	Who	The subject wants pizza.
9	Whom	The person receives the action of interviewing.
10	Who	The teacher inspired someone, making the pronoun the subject.

If you answered 8 or more correctly, you have a solid understanding of who vs. whom.

Related Grammar Terms

Understanding a few related grammar concepts can make who vs. whom even easier.

Grammar Term	Meaning
Pronoun	A word that replaces a noun.
Subject	The person or thing performing the action.
Object	The person or thing receiving the action.
Relative Pronoun	A pronoun that introduces a relative clause, such as who, whom, whose, which, and that.
Clause	A group of words containing a subject and a verb.
Preposition	A word like to, with, for, from, or about that shows a relationship between words.

Knowing these terms helps you recognize why who and whom are used differently.

Related Words

These words are closely connected to who and whom and are often confused by learners.

Word	Usage
Whose	Shows possession.
Who’s	Contraction of who is or who has.
Whoever	Subject form.
Whomever	Object form.
That	Can replace who in some relative clauses.
Which	Refers to things or animals, not people in most cases.

Example

Whose jacket is this?
Who’s coming to dinner tonight?

These two words are unrelated to who vs. whom, but they’re commonly confused because they look similar.

Quick Tips for American English

Modern American English favors clear, natural communication. Here are a few practical tips:

Use who in everyday conversations.
Use whom when writing formal letters, legal documents, or academic papers.
Don’t use whom simply to sound more educated.
If a sentence sounds awkward, rewrite it instead of forcing whom into it.
When editing your writing, use the he/him test to double-check your choice.

For example, instead of writing:

With whom are you going?

Many Americans naturally say:

Who are you going with?

Both are acceptable, but the second sounds more conversational.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is it “who” or “whom” did you call?

According to traditional grammar, “Whom did you call?” is correct because the pronoun receives the action of the verb call.

However, in everyday American English, many people say “Who did you call?” This version is widely accepted in casual conversation.

Is “whom” still used in modern English?

Yes. Although whom is less common today, it still appears in formal writing, academic papers, legal documents, business correspondence, and edited publications.

Most native speakers simply use it less often in everyday conversation.

Can I always use “who” instead of “whom”?

Not always.

In casual speech, using who instead of whom is generally acceptable.

In formal writing, it’s still best to use whom when the pronoun functions as an object.

Is “whom” only used in formal writing?

No. It can also appear in formal speeches, official announcements, and carefully edited publications.

That said, it’s much less common in informal conversations.

What is the easiest way to remember who vs. whom?

Use the he/him test.

He = Who
Him = Whom

This simple trick works in most situations.

Is “with who” grammatically correct?

In formal grammar, “with whom” is correct.

In everyday American English, “Who are you with?” or “Who are you going with?” is extremely common and sounds natural.

Why do native English speakers rarely use “whom”?

English has become more conversational over time. As a result, who has replaced whom in many informal situations.

Even so, educated writers still use whom when grammar and context require it.

Conclusion

Understanding who vs. whom becomes much easier once you know the difference between a subject and an object. Who performs the action, while whom receives the action. Although whom still has an important place in formal writing, academic work, and legal documents, who is widely accepted in everyday American English conversations.

Whenever you’re unsure, use the he/him test. If he fits, choose who. If him fits, choose whom. This quick trick solves most grammar questions in seconds and helps you avoid common mistakes.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. What is the difference between who and whom?

Who is the subject of a sentence and performs the action. Whom is the object of a verb or preposition and receives the action.

2. Is “whom” still used in modern English?

Yes. Whom is still used in formal writing, academic papers, legal documents, and professional communication. However, who is much more common in everyday conversation.

3. How can I easily remember who vs. whom?

Use the he/him test.

If he fits, use who.
If him fits, use whom.

This is the easiest and most reliable memory trick.

4. Is it correct to say “Who did you call?”

In casual American English, yes. In traditional grammar, “Whom did you call?” is more accurate because the pronoun receives the action.

5. When should I use whom after a preposition?

Use whom after prepositions such as to, with, for, from, about, and by in formal writing.

Example:

To whom should I address this letter?

6. Why do native English speakers often use “who” instead of “whom”?

Modern English has become more conversational. As a result, many native speakers use who in situations where whom was traditionally required.

7. Is “Who are you talking to?” grammatically correct?

Yes. It is perfectly natural in modern American English. A more formal version is “To whom are you talking?”, although it sounds less conversational.

8. Can I replace whom with who in every sentence?

Not always. In formal writing, it’s better to use whom when it functions as the object of a verb or preposition. In casual speech, who is usually acceptable.

9. What are the most common mistakes with who and whom?

The most common mistakes include:

Using whom as the subject.
Using who after a preposition in formal writing.
Overusing whom to sound more formal.
Forgetting to use the he/him test.

10. Does the who vs. whom rule apply in both American and British English?

Yes. The grammar rule is the same in both varieties of English. However, speakers of both American and British English generally prefer who in everyday conversation.